Positivity Pill
We just can’t stop them and they enter our mind, jump around, create a mess and make us feel unhappy. We do feel we want to get rid of them as we known they harm our feelings, disrupt our success path, narrow our focus and shuts our minds off to new ideas. Then WHY are we NOT able to STOP them??? The reason we cannot is because we want to get rid of them as easily as swallowing a pill to get rid of a pain. But we forget, that as human beings its natural to get negative thoughts butwhat we should focus is on preventing them and dealing with them in such a way that the occurrence lessens and finally stops. As to stop a virus from entering our body we know it’s important to follow the necessary steps of hygiene, eat good food, exercise and take care of ourselves consistently and build a strong immune system, so is the case with our mind as well. It’s essential that we follow the necessary steps in our lifewhich help us build a sound immune system of our mind so that we prevent such thoughts which would come in our way of success. As we all know “Prevention is better than cure”, it applies everywhere. And the way we learn to build our immune system at a very early age, we need to build our thinking system early as well. Am sure your next question is HOW?An excellent way to embrace the power of positive thinking is to become more conscious of your own thoughts and feelings. Here are some important 8 steps to help build an optimistic attitude towards life… 1) POSITIVE WORDS – We need to make changes in our thinking in such a way that our subconscious mind (the decision maker) understands. Our subconscious mind does not recognize words like Don’t, Not, No in short all the negative words. For example., if I say “Don’t do it”, it will only pick up “DO IT” and thus something which is not expected is done. Thus, use only positively- framed sentences like 2) POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT – Invest time into things which you love and enjoy doing like Learn a new art, give time to your hobby, have positive people around you, listen to music or inspiring videos, read good books of inspiring authors, biographies, quotes and create a positive environment for yourself. 3) POSITIVE SELF-APPRECIATION – Put up your achievements on a noticeable place like your study table and see them every day to feel happy for all that you have done. Why I say Positive appreciation because I want you to get motivated and not become egoistic of your achievements. Set your goals and have them put on the same place so that you see them as well everyday. Put an affirmation on top of it “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and stronger”. 4) POSITIVE SELF-TALK – Have a positive Self-talk and ensure you avoid any negative words in it. The negativity trap is super easy to fall into and you may find yourself complaining abouteverything around you. Thus, its better you write it for yourself in all the possible positive words and then read it out for yourself till the time you have mastered yourself in a positive self-talk. 5) POSITIVE APPROACH TO HELP OTHERS – Be thankful to whatever you have in your life. Be kind to people around you. Help others with a positive approach. It means help because you want to help them and not because you have to help them. Enjoy every moment and embrace all good and bad with a smile. Make a gratitude list for yourself and see the change. 6) POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOUR ACTIONS – Believe that you are in charge of your destiny and no one can take away your dreams from you. Take responsibility of your behavior irrespective of the outcome. Accepting responsibility for your actions will help keep you thinking positively and prevent you from blaming others without reason. 7) POSITIVE PRACTICING – Remember there is no pill for positive mind-set and it’s all on how you take care of your mental health every single day as you take care of your body. Cultivate a more optimistic attitude with practice. 8) POSITIVE HEALTH – Exercise, play, meditate dance or go for cycling or a nice walk with friends or family. That will boost your energy and help your mind refresh. Remember, a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. I know, all these strategies are easy said than done. Remember that changing your way of thinking will take time and practice but it can be done. Optimism isn’t something you can suddenly develop overnight, but you’re likely to soon notice your frequent negative thoughts are being replaced with more uplifting, positive thoughts. “The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”–Winston Churchill
Let Your Hair Down!
Recently, I watched – “Nappily Ever After” and it made me think about how women are killing themselves to look perfect, to look prettier, have fabulous hair, and to look what society wants them to look like!! There are so many external beauty factors young women (13 to 30) keep bothering themselves with, due to societal expectations, media, and peer pressure. Personality is important and not the outer looks, is what I believe strongly. You want to look good, look good, but if under pressure, then hey! You need to think girl what looking good is! We’ve been tricked into thinking that if we look slimmer, well-dressed, pretty, have good body shape, perfect hair, and fair skin, we are the best ones and successful as well. All the thoughts jumping inside the mind, like “I need to look good because people make a perception about me if I don’t!”, “I need to wear such and such kind of clothes, shoes, accessories, etc. to ensure people like me.” Oh, My God!! Are we living our lives for ourselves or others??? And what does that “Looking Good “mean?? Does it mean that you need to have fair skin, skin that is glowing irrespective of the fact that your dancing hormones are uncontrollable with the changes going inside your body, does that mean that you have to eat less and keep starving, and taking laxatives to try to reshape your figures to fit what you believe is “the ideal” as revealed on social media? Just because of societal pressure we keep pushing ourselves to do things that we are not happy to do…we try to be someone we don’t want to…just because we want acceptance from others. What about the acceptance of YOU by YOU? Appearance-related social pressure has developed a negative body image and self-esteem as well as severe mental disorders during adolescence. As a child, I faced a lot of humiliation for dark skin, skinny looks, and simple attire. I compared myself with other girls around me, I felt bad, depressed, and lonely, and sometimes felt that ‘I am born imperfect’. But thanks to my parents who always told me one thing, “Outer beauty can be bought, it can be pretended, it has a short life, but inner beauty is natural, it can’t be pretended, it lasts forever.” That always helped me accept myself the way I am and eventually I learned to focus on what matters in life. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to look good and being healthy for oneself, but it’s so important to draw the line and remember that nobody’s self-worth comes from how you look or the perfect make-up or beautiful hair or high fashion clothes. It comes from deep within your heart and is for nobody to see. It is an experience. Live your life the way you want, I feel it’s time to stop striving for what others want you to be like and celebrate what you are and what you want to be! Let Your Hair down! Let your heart out! Let the light in! “98% of girls feel pressure to look a certain way” The mindset that builds up at the age from 13 to 21 lasts longer, sometimes forever. Unfortunately, many times it starts at HOME, especially in Indian families and we find little progress in eradicating this ‘classic’ Indian standards of beauty. It starts from childhood, grows at adolescence and exacerbated as we get older. Being woman is stressful many times! Even after so many years there is still the societal pressure and now added more with the media around for women to look good, slim, well-dressed, meet the demand to be perfect. The biggest problem is that when women are not able to achieve the perfection, they feel bad and some fall into depression. With the world changing and more social media hype, it is very important that girls are educated to be confident in who they are, build resilience from a young age, to create an amazing start. Here are my thoughts on how the young women are falling prey to the unnecessary pressure of being perfect! What are your thoughts? Do share
Joyful Race
Let’s Make the Life a joyful ride and not a Race to win! We all constantly are in a run, a race of life. And it’s not just a race, it’s a race to win!! Isn’t it? This race started quite early in our childhood and is still going on in different ways, in different forms, and at different thresholds of life. But there was a difference in this race which we ran as a child and which we now run as an adult. As we grow, the race turns into a vast competition where we want to win! Even if not winning, we want to ensure we run it because others are running and forget what we lost behind while we were running! Let me share with you a lovely experience of mine. It was a beautiful evening and I was sitting in a garden reading my book. Just then, I heard children shouting, “Come on Priya, run, run!” Come on Shree, run run!” Kids playing are always more fun than a barrel of monkeys! 😊 I couldn’t resist watching these adorable kids enjoying, having fun, shouting, and running. It brought back some wonderful childhood memories as well. They had a teacher with them, who had put them in groups to run a race. Each group had to go run, touch the tree and come back. She asked the groups to run and said..” Let us see who runs fast and reaches me first”. You might feel..what’s different in this?…but there is something which I saw and it touched my heart… This one group of three little ones had their turn to run. On the shout of 1, 2, and 3, all three tiny tots began running. Two of them ran as fast as they could..but then the third one did not run…she was a bit scared, she just stood there. The teacher shouted, “Run Gargi…run”. That is when Gargi ran with her two ponytails swinging side to side😊 Just then something very astounding happened. The other two who had reached the tree waited there for her…they did not run back..they kept calling her..”Ye Gargi..ye”[ Come Gargi, Come]. They did not move until Gargi reached the tree. They encouraged her so much that she overcame her fear and ran. When she reached the tree, they hold each other’s hand and all three ran back to the teacher together. And I smiled and said to myself, “How innocent!”, “What a perfect race! What a perfect partnership! What perfect teamwork! I gave it the name “Joyful Race!!” They enjoyed the journey, encouraging each other rather than the competition of who will reach the destination first. 😊 We relate innocence to children….but don’t we have a Child hidden in us?…then where does the innocence get lost with time? Why we do keep thinking about the result that “I want to win” and miss the fun of being there for each other and enjoying the journey together? Why do we allow FEAR to creep in? Fear of being looked upon as MINDLESS, the FEAR of FAILURE, the FEAR of LOSING, is what holds one back. Break the FEAR, enjoy being there for one another, bring out the child in you, and nurture that pure heart of yours with love and empathy for all. Life is not about winning the race. Life is about finishing the race, and how many people we can help finish the race together. Let’s be kinder to each other😊
Hey Mommy
Don’t fear the dark, face it, embrace it. “Mommy! Mommy! Ghost!!,” a 3-year-old Riya scaringly screams and runs inside the house and holds her mom’s so tight that she topples over to the kitchen wall. “What happened, Riya? Why are you so scared baby?” “Mommy, something black was behind me, dada said; it’s a ghost.” [dada is the neighbour’s 10-year-old son, dada means brother]. Mommy washes her hands and picks Riya in her arms. “Riya, let’s go and see where is the ghost, let’s frighten him and run him away!”. She takes Riya outside, looks here and there, and finds no one. “Riya baby, see there is no one outside, dada must have played a prank, wait, will punish him when he returns.” Saying this she wipes Riya’s tears and picks up her in her arms. Riya hugs her mom tight and slowly calms down. Moving her hand over her head softly, mommy says, “No one will bother you now baby, mommy is here, go play.” Mommy stands on the veranda watching her play. But, as soon as she gets into the courtyard, she shouts again, “See, mommy, the ghost has come near me again”. Mommy rushes outside to see Riya and looks down where she points out at her Ghost. She laughs and points towards the floor at what seemed to be a ghost for Riya, she says “Riya baby, you got scared of this; this is your shadow baby”. Riya immediately asks, “Shadow!!What’s a Shadow?”. Mommy takes her to the veranda and sits down on the last stair, lifting her onto her lap she says, “Shadow is your friend who plays hide-n-seek with you, in the light she is visible, and in the dark, she hides”. Riya inquisitively asks, “Why does she hide in the dark?”. “She hides in the dark because she wants you to be a brave girl when alone and not fear darkness, so she hides and tells you – Even if you don’t see me, I am there with you”. With her eyes lit up in excitement, Riya says, “Yes mommy, I am a brave girl!” Mommy and Riya hug each other and have a hearty laugh. Riya quickly jumps out of her mommy’s lap and runs down in the yard again to play. “Mommy, come catch my shadow.” Saying this, both the mother-daughter enjoys running behind each other’s shadows. I am sure we all have similar stories of our childhood when we first met our Shadow. As kids, we enjoyed playing with shadow manipulation: moving shadows, shrinking shadows, enlarging shadows, and double shadows. How beautiful is our bond with our Shadow! Isn’t she, our friend? A friend who is non-judgemental and inseparable! While the shadow is always talked about as the side of us that we do not like to accept or talk about, it is usually compared to negative emotions. But I feel shadow cannot be limited to only negativities. It rather tells us that along with positivity’s we also have negativities in us and we need to accept them. Yes, one needs to work on the negative emotions which are harmful to lead a peaceful life, but at the same time, one cannot be 100% flawless. You need to embrace your good and bad in life, it’s inseparable. Shadow manifests life’s lessons: When Sunlight (Success) is essential, it tells us shadows (adversities) are important in life as they illuminate our paths for the future. When Sunlight (anger) comes scorching in, the shades (calmness) give our life the balance we need. When relationships become difficult, upsurge your love says the Shadow, remember where there is light, there is a shadow when you accept the light, you ought to accept the Shadow. As we grow, the Shadow grows with us, we learn its science, and we see it daily, but its acceptance remains unseen. Embrace the shadow self, and be non-judgemental, flexible, and full of love! Don’t fear the dark, face it, embrace it. Befriend your Shadow to bring positive change in your life!
10 SeFirots – Tree of Leadership
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams We have several examples that explain how a leader has to be! We have role models whom we idolize as our leaders. When I think deeper about what makes a great Leader, what comes to my mind are these 10 Sefirot’s which flourishes the tree of Leadership. I believe this tree of leadership needs to be rooted strongly in values, ethics, principles, integrity, dignity, and respect for others. With roots being strong, the tree flourishes with the 10 modes or attributes through which an individual grows as a LEADER. 1. Clear Vision – Vision is the most important attribute as it creates trust and springs hope in the people. “Only shared visions have the magnetic power to sustain commitment over time.” ~Kouzes & Posner Leaders share their vision with everyone, they help them see the broader picture of the future and give them hope to create a better life for themselves and the organization. Leaders express their beliefs in the people, this helps build confidence. Leaders don’t seek to remain in their comfort zone or rest on their accomplishments. They don’t focus only on themselves. What matters to them is their team and their growth which further leads to the organization’s growth. Ask Yourself – Am I intentionally using my vision to create hope within my organization or my team? If not, why not? What am I missing? What’s stopping me? 2. Walk the Talk – A leader who walks the talk earns credibility. It’s important as a leader to know that who we are inside determines what our team experiences on the outside. Remember, we as leaders don’t choose to be a role model, but it’s in our hands, what type of role model we want to be. “When the leader models leadership development daily, everyone on the team recognizes its importance. If the leader neglects it or delegates it to someone else, it sends the message that it’s not a high priority.” ~ John C. Maxwell Ask Yourself: Where am I failing my team as a role model? When have I asked them to do what I am not doing? Am I late to meetings, but expect them to be on time? Do they ever see or hear me blaming others? How is my behaviour impacting my influence? 3. Empathetic Leader – As a leader, being aware of the feelings of people, listening to them, making them feel accepted is important. Understand to be understood! You can’t expect respect if you do not respect other people. Building authentic influence vs artificial influence makes you a great leader. Remember, it’s easy to replace people than develop them, but as a leader, you need to develop your people. “The difference between honour and respect. We honour a person for what they did yesterday. But we respect a person for what they’re doing today.” ~ John C. Maxwell Ask Yourself: Do my team members feel respected? How do I intentionally demonstrate respect? How can I improve? Do my team members respect me as their leader? What does their behaviour reveal? 4. Accountable & Responsible – Being responsible and taking accountability is to act. Act to make things happen and not rely upon or blame others. It’s about being committed to what you say and taking the right action. This also means being compassionate towards your team. As a leader, taking ownership of your actions helps recover. “In the absence of ownership comes blame.” ~ -Billy Taylor Ask Yourself: When is the last time I blamed my team? How was I responsible for the outcome? What can I do to better help my team succeed? What’s stopping me from doing it? 5. Strategic Thinking – In this everchanging and turbulent environment, a leader has to be an innovative and strategic thinker. You must be able to anticipate the future, analyze the scope, accelerate efforts, prepare people, and align them to face the change. “Strategy is about setting yourself apart from the competition. It’s not a matter of being better at what you do – it’s a matter of being different at what you do.” ~ Michael Porter. Ask Yourself: What are we (the organization and you as a leader) doing today? Why are we doing the work we are doing? How does what we’re doing today align with the bigger picture? 6. Empowering People – Empowering others means you not only allow others to lead, but you expect others to lead. Empowerment is the key to unleashing your team’s potential. When you have built the right team, you must let them run. Great teams never fear mistakes. Empowering others reveals your security. Choosing not to empower others reveals your insecurity.Trust your people, give them the authority to take decisions and feel valued, and encourage them to question or challenge the processes or decisions. Don’t hold them back! “When you take a leadership seat, you should be disproportionately occupied with creating other leaders.” ~ Carla Harris Ask Yourself: Am I intentionally empowering my team members? If not, why not? How can I be more intentional? Am I directing my team or developing my team? 7. Communication – A leader should be an active listener to become an effective communicator. Leaders communicate in a style that inspires and stimulates their people to act passionately. Clear, simple, and empathetic language creates authenticity. “The art of communication is the language of leadership.” — James Humes. Ask Yourself: Am I clear on my thoughts? If not, what exactly do I want to convey? Do I have all the information? Am I listening to my people? Am I asking the right questions and answering the right ones? 8. Resilient No journey is flawless, there will be hurdles, uncertainty, crisis, failures, and challenges. Leaders successfully navigate through challenges and guide others with courage and conviction. Resilient leaders are purpose-driven, they learn from their successes – failures and keep
The Unconditional Love!!
The only condition to Love is. to Love unconditionally! Unconditional Love!! The first thing that comes to our mind is parental love. How parents love their children without any expectations, they accept them as they are, their happiness lies in the happiness of their child. Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It is the love you offer freely. We also call it compassionate love. Though we equate this love to familial love, we do try to find this in our other relationships. The best example that comes to mind when I think about unconditional love is the Sunshine. Its like the sun that shines every day, gives us light, energy and warmth unconditionally! Unconditional love is where the love for the other person is without any boundaries. It is free and with no return expectations. Where I feel what we need today is “Unconditional Love” as human beings and it can’t stick to only familial love, there have to be no expectations from anyone whom you love or care or support. However, one needs to understand the thin line between unconditional love with pure intentions and care for the other person’s happiness and unconditional love in an unhealthy relationship just because one feels the need to abide by it even if it hurts. Unconditional Love is caring about another person’s happiness without demanding any benefits for themselves. How can you love unconditionally?I feel the first thing is to “Love yourself unconditionally”. Unless you do not accept yourself as you are and love yourself unconditionally you cannot love others with the same mindset. The most effective way to love another person is to be committed to ourselves. It is about accepting unconditionally our authentic feelings or longings and caring enough about ourselves to convey our needs or desires to someone we love. Love starts with Self-acceptance and Self-love; it then helps us to accept others as they are and love them unconditionally building a strong and trustworthy relationship. Unconditional Love benefits emotional health. It generates:
A journey well shared is a journey well enjoyed
It’s a simple experiment, but if you haven’t tried it yet, you’re missing out! When you bring travel and friends together, the experience is awesome. I had this opportunity recently on a road trip to Daman-Diu and Little Rann of Kutch. Vacations with family, traveling for work, and a trip with your female buddies are three different things and altogether different experiences. The first two have always been a part of my life but the third one was on my list of “40s Onwards”. It came true after meeting Medha Jain, an avid traveller, an excellent master photographer, and a humble human being. It so happened that we met at an HR Conference, and she told me about her road trip to Gujarat and Little Rann of Kutch. After I decided to get back to my job after successfully branding my family venture and supporting my husband in kickstarting our company, I needed a break before I take this huge plunge of starting my second innings. I wanted to get on my feet to face this new world. Thus, without any second thought, I grabbed the opportunity to enjoy this road trip. We were 4 girls’ gangs (Me, Medha, Unaiza, and Mangal) with not everyone knowing each other to the fullest. I, Medha and Mangal are a part of Lean2Lead Pune – a community of working women professionals. This was an adventure trip to some known and some unknown places exploring something new. No pre-bookings at any place were a thriller for me. Though I was a bit scared I had complete faith in my friend Medha who has been Solo travelling for the last 23 years. Our journey started on 26th Jan early morning from Mumbai, enjoying the serene beauty on the way. We were supposed to go to Silvasa, and we somehow diverted via Nasik crossing Palghar. This was through villages and farms on both sides, and we stopped our car and clicked pictures in the middle of the road…we were pakka roadies😊 Exploring places like the Jai Vilas Palace which I am sure I would have never known, we reached Silvasa. The butterfly park and Vanganga jheel gave a wonderful insight into the entire Dadra and Nagar Haveli, Daman, and Diu. The Dhudhani lake was beautiful with an island in the middle. We took a boat to the island; it was a place of Solace. I could feel the calmness in my heart. While we travelled, we noticed that Narayani temples are every 2-4 km. We visited one of the Narayani temples and then left to hunt for a hotel to stay in. I had one of my friends from Navsari suggest us a beautiful resort “White Feather Resort”. Our tired souls had a calm sleep, and we were all fresh in the morning for the next exploration. We went to Daman the next day and on our way, Medha and Unnaiza searched for an unknown place. It was a pit lake formed by mining. It was a blue-green water lake that reminded us of “Drushyam” 😊 It wasn’t a tourist spot, so we were 4 wandering souls on this unknown lake clicking pictures. I swear I would have never found such a beautiful “secret” place. Surrounded by the magnificent Moti Daman Fort was the quiet Moti Daman beach and Lighthouse. A peaceful place away from the hustle-bustle. These were the best moments as we spent a lot of time here watching the sunset. With the sun setting, we now had to begin our search for a place to stay. From Sunrise to Sunset was our daily routine, we left early 6 am the next morning to reach Little Rann of Kutch. That journey was again an adventure as it was planned to reach the sanctuary before it gets closed. And YES!! Nothing is impossible if we women make up our minds! We reached 4.50 pm to the “Bajana Wild Ass Sanctuary” Gujrat which is the largest wildlife sanctuary in India. We had an awesome guide with us, thanks to our travel master Medha, she has her connections at every place. We saw some beautiful species of birds, “Greater Flamingo, Spoonbill, Painted Stalk, grey wings Falcons, Imperial Eagle, Common Crane, and many more…For the first time, I saw a “Wild Ass”. These are called Ghudkhur in Gujrat. Sunsets are always surreal, and it is a treat to the eyes. We had been so fortunate to witness sunset every day at different places. Enjoying the sunset, we left for the “Rann Bhavana Resort & Farm”. Delicious authentic food and lovely “Lippan art” huts made us feel like we have come to a typical village farmhouse. We did not even miss the Gujaratis Garba, a few Gujarati students from Chhattisgarh had come to explore and understand their culture. What energy these youngsters had while performing garba!! Amazing!! It was now the last day of our tour, and we still had the craving for the sanctuary. Next dawn we went back to the Banjana Sanctuary to breathe the fresh air, watch the beautiful birds, and say goodbye to this mesmerizing magnificent Little Rann of Kutch. Later, we left for Ahmedabad, and on our way, we visited “Sun Temple and “Rani-ki-Vav”. The water architectural style of Rani-ki-Vav reflects mastery of the complex technique used and the great beauty of detail and proportions. What a great artistic and aesthetic sense! Capturing this beauty in our cameras and moments in our hearts we reached Pune. I call it a “Back Home Journey with New ME” As I got back on my feet (literally and mentally), the connection between female empowerment and travel fully manifested for me. We travelled 2000km on road with two of our best drivers Unaiza and Mangal. Awesome girls!! You inspired me!! We did not buy a single mineral water bottle, so no plastic buying!! Kudos to Us!! What an amazing journey!! Let’s Keep travelling and exploring new places and ourselves! Thank you, Lean2Lead Pune, for bringing us together😊 Gitanjali Thite